


Baby, We're Ride Or Die

by Mr_Dadamy_Blake



Series: But Only For Tonight [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bullying, Character Mentions, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Kent Parson/Jack Zimmermann, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 11:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10333625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Dadamy_Blake/pseuds/Mr_Dadamy_Blake
Summary: Siri, how do you forget the name of the most important person in your life if you don't even know their name?well, fuck.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "I'm going to edit and post this today." - Me from like two weeks ago to divi.  
> The concept of choosing despite having a soulmate kept nagging at my brain until suddenly I woke up in front of my keyboard and, oh, wow. I wrote an entire story of Bitty within my soulmate au which I was going to leave as a one shot. But no, now it's a fucking series. Here's to hoping I didn't jump the shark.  
> Also, this does have mentions of Kent. Although he's not really _that_ important to this particular story right now. **Also, also, I do depicted self harm in this, and there are scenes of bullying, and I did write the closet scene. So like, if those aren't things you want to read about I would suggest clicking away now.**  
>  if any glaring mistake has been glossed over please feel free to let me know.  
> Also, Also, Also come yell at me at aguilillacolaroja on tumblr pls.

The first time Eric Bittle looked at those icy blue eyes, he hoped this man  _ wasn't _ his soulmate. The dismissive and cold stare was enough for Eric to want to crawl into the fetal position a few miles away from the sad looking man. 

No.

Not sad.  _ Angry.  _ But for pete’s sake Eric didn't understand what he was so mad about. 

Once introduced Eric felt if only a little disappointed. But he felt that way with anyone that was introduced to him. The indecipherable name etched on the inside of his thigh burned, as if it was yelling at him. The writing had been so mushed together, so weird almost like a different language. It made Eric wonder if he actually had a soulmate. 

_ “Momma? What doth it thay?” _

_ “Dicky darling, I'm not sure. But just you wait, one day you'll meet a nice person and they’ll have your name and teach you how to pronounce theirs. Now go play with your cousin.” _

_ “Ok momma.” _

_ - _

When Eric was little he didn't really understand the looks of pity when he told people he didn't know his soulmate's name. 

He learned the meaning behind the looks when he was ten. His cousin Bobby had sneered at him after Eric had accidentally hit him in the stomach. 

“ _ Get a grip mateless.”  _

Eric had stood there stunned. He’d heard the word being tossed around as an insult to many kids around his school. He wasn't the only one getting bullied after all, and he’d never, personally, been on the receiving end of the slur. 

He quickly learned to lie when asked about a soulmate after that. A name easily sliding off his tongue. 

_ “What's your soulmate's name?” _

_ “Jackson.”  _

_ - _

Eric eased himself onto the ice for the first time there at Samwell. He’d met Jack and Shitty and the rest of the boys earlier that day. They’d been… Perplexed. 

“Hey Bittle,” Jack sounded just as angry as he looked. “You're late.”

“Bitty!” It took Eric a moment to realize that the defensemen were talking to him. He skated up to them, fully expecting them to tell him off for being late too.  

“You’ll always be late in his eyes, he's Jack ‘I arrived three hours early for practice and you should too’ Zimmermann,” Holster assured him. 

It took all of practice, and forty five minutes for someone on the team to ask Eric who his soulmate was. He'd hoped that nobody would ask. 

“Jackson,” Eric told this lie for so long he almost believed it. He  _ would _ have believed it, if it weren't for the fact that the name on his thigh burned. Almost like it was angry at him for lying, as if it had a mind of its own and knew Eric was lying through his teeth. A revenge that made him want to scratch the mark off. 

He tried once… to scratch it off. 

_ “Oh my goodness Dicky what have you done?” Eric sat sobbing after a particularly rough  _ year _ but he always had a rough year and never did anyone really care. He thought that maybe if he got rid of the nameless name on his thigh he wouldn't feel so trapped. And yet there he was. Eric had scratched until he bled. And then he had continued to scratch. It felt like his soulmate was crying out to him. As if he was hurting someone else by hurting himself. Who knew the mark ran deep. As much as he scratched and bled his soulmate’s name was still there ever so unreadable.  _

_ “I want it to stop. I want it off. It won't come off momma.”  _

-

After the first semester and the rocky start, it seemed to be that Jack decided he liked Bitty. Bitty had no problem with that. It was fine, he was fine. And lucky him, it turned out angry Jack wasn't his soulmate. 

Bitty hadn't needed to dig through the internet for more than a minute to find out that Kent Parson and Jack Zimmermann, hockey legends at such a young age, were soulmates. Kent’s name was written in beautiful cursive on the inside of Jack’s right bicep. Shirts and limited movements covered it fairly well but Bitty shared more than enough showers with the man to realize it was there. 

_ “Momma what if I never meet them? What if I'm alone for the rest of my life?” _

_ “Dicky don't you go thinking you’ll be alone in life. Just because you don't meet your soulmate doesn't mean you can't fall in love. Look at your Auntie Marie, she's never met her Jeff but she sure met her Carl.” _

_ - _

Bitty was in trouble. He fell for a man that already had a soulmate. Oh, and he just really didn't like  _ Kent Parson _ , whose name, if you were lucky enough, could be read clearly on Jack. Bitty didn't think Kent deserved to be Jack’s soulmate. But fate didn't make mistakes or so his mother told him. Bitty had some trouble reconciling his image of Kent Parson and his image of what a soulmate should be like. Soulmates should be  _ kind  _ and  _ caring _ , not. Not  _ manipulative  _ and  _ cruel. _ Not  _ Kent Parson _ .

“ _ Momma, I… Overheard something I shouldn't have. And I just, it's got me thinkin’... What if my soulmate doesn't like me?”  _

“ _ Dicky, darling. Just because two people are soulmates doesn't mean they're going to get along perfectly. It's just like any other relationship, you’ll disagree on somethings. And sometimes you’ll hurt each other. But you'll always be able to talk about it. No matter what you do or say they'll be there for you.” _

_ “I'm afraid momma, I don't want to be like them. They're…” _

_ “Oh darling, you will be  _ just _ fine.” _

_ - _

Bitty felt like he lost something important as he folded Chowder's clothes and started putting it in the respective drawers. Beyonce playing loud enough that he doesn't see or hear Jack's presence behind him. Not until he's so close. 

Most of what happened next didn't really register in Bitty until well after Jack left. He stared at his phone until Chowder, Nursey and Dex barrelled into the room. Squawking at each other and then asking Bitty if he was ok. 

“I'm… I’m perfectly fine,” Bitty jumped off the chair with a smile. “I couldn't be better.”

_ “Coach?” Bitty walked into his parents room tentatively. Coach turned around from his spot on the bed with a curious look. Eric didn't usually go into his parents room unless asked to. “Can we talk?” _

_ “Sure Dickey, what's the problem?” Coach set his foot down, his shoe half tied and all of his attention on Eric. It made him want to run. Eric's nerves were all over the place.  _

_ “Coach, I really like football and all… don’t get me wrong it's a great sport but…” _

_ “You don't like football,” Coach said gruffly.  _

_ “No!” Eric jumped, his eyes were wide. “I love football! I just… I don't… like playing it.”  _

_ He wanted to say that he didn't like the team. He wanted to say that despite all of Coach’s efforts his team despised him. He wanted to say so many things. But Eric felt like he couldn't, after what happened the year before… he just couldn't.  _

_ “I… I want to do figure skating.”  _

_ Coach sighed. He bent down and finished tying his shoe before standing up and regarding Eric. Eric on the other hand felt like he was going to cry. Of course Coach would be disappointed.  _

_ “I guess we're gonna have to go into the city, get you some skates, son.” Coach clapped Eric on the back hard. Eric looked up and Coach smiled at him awkwardly. Now Eric wanted to cry for a completely different reason.  _

_ - _

Jack skyped Bitty almost daily. Sometimes their schedules didn't allow them to talk but that was perfectly fine. They were two grown men with completely different schedules. Yet sometimes Jack would be  _ there. _

It was perfectly fine. Totally. Except that it wasn't, not all. Bitty spent the night before overthinking everything. What if Jack decided he wanted to be with Kent? They were soulmates after all, and they hadn't gone unfound. What if when Kent and Jack decided that they wanted to fix their bond, the very basis of their relationship, Jack also decided Bitty wasn't enough for him? Bitty wouldn't lie to himself, he knew that he was temporary at best.  _ Jack had a soulmate.  _ They would fix the rift sooner or later and Bitty would be left alone. Without his soulmate and heartbroken. He was. He was practically mateless. 

Bitty refused to let the fact that he couldn't read his soulmate's name get to him since he broke down in his bedroom. He wouldn't let it get to him. His soulmate didn't define who he was. It was just a person. Just a name. It meant nothing.  _ It meant nothing.  _

But as he struggled to control his thoughts, all he could think was  _ It does matter.  _

_ It mattered so much. _

Bitty supposed he was really out of it if he didn't notice anyone walk in until he felt arms wrapping around gently and a soft hushing in the familiar deep rumble that was Jack’s voice. He let himself feel his warmth and wondered how many more days he would have. Ones where he would get to hear Jack comforting him and hugging him and just being there with his dumb stupid face and his dumb stupid arms and his dumb stupid jokes and, and his  _ dumb stupid everything _ . 

“What are you doing here?” Bitty pressed himself further into Jack's embrace, snaking his own arms under Jack’s so he could clutch at the back of his shirt. 

“Well, I was on the plane two, three hours ago, boarded off of it,  and once I got to my apartment I thought to myself, I thought ‘hey Jack you know what's wrong with this picture?’ And I answered myself politely ‘yes Jack,  _ mon chéri _ is not here.’ So I answered myself back ‘you should go get him.’ And so I walked back down to the parking garage and into my truck that you make fun of and I drove all the way here. And I see I have great timing too.” 

Bitty didn't answer him and Jack didn't pressure him to. And he just… loved Jack so much it’s almost unbearable. 

_ “Mateless,” Bitty was being picked up from the ground. He left behind spit out blood and tears but it seemed like the football team wasn't done with him. He thought that being the coach's son would protect him just a little he didn't think that they would risk getting caught by anyone let alone coach. But it wasn't the first time he’d thought wrong. And it wasn't going to be the last.  _

_ “Mateless fag,” Bitty was flung forward. He lost what little balance he had and landed harshly, his arms extended to soften the blow and his hip making contact with the hard linoleum floor of the janitors closet. “Don't know why Coach even bothers with you. Cuz that's all you are. A mateless fag.”  _

_ “Useless too.” Bitty tried his best to contain his sobs. But once one finally escaped the others followed. He looked up and made sure that he had every face he could see memorized. Because Bitty might not defend himself now. But he wasn't going to take the punches sitting.  _

_ They laughed at him and the janitors closet door closed. Five minutes passed by before Bitty started feeling the room closing in on him, pushing out all of the oxygen from his lungs and his sobbing turned into yelling and he crawled over to the door. He pounded on it for what seemed like hours, and he wanted to keeping going but his arms were tired and his hands were bruising.  _

_ Bitty’s eye was swelling and as it happened he felt time slow down. The tiny room was going to crush him, though it might leave him without oxygen first, it had already ruined his voice.  _

_ “Please help me.” He whispered it like a mantra, “please help me.”  _

_ It was his to whisper and his to hear since no one was there, no one else could hear him. No one cared enough. Not his mama, not his Coach, not the damn useless janitor that never uses the damn useless closet on the west side of the school.  _

_ He fell asleep with his nails buried into his thigh, the useless scribbles of his soulmate’s name bleeding out his blood as if it was ink. And he didn't care, he didn't care, he didn't want to live. Not if it was in a place like this. Where no matter what he did he was the victim, he was the pariah.  _

_ The door opened and instead of yelling like he wanted to he sobbed once more. Looking up he didn’t see the janitor but Coach. _

_ “Papa,” Bitty didn’t move, he watched emotions go through his father’s face. Shock, Bitty hasn’t called him that since he started peewee football. Anger, because he knew who did that to his boy. Relief, because Bitty wasn’t dead in a ditch like he probably thought if Bitty were to go by the incredibly dark circles under his eyes. And then, then the part Bitty looked away for: sadness, incredible sadness and all Bitty managed to do was say, “papa.”  _

_ Coach inched closer and closer until he gently, careful of his sons battered state, wrapped his arms around him. Bitty curled into the warmth and familiarity of the touch. _

-

Bitty felt like all he could do recently was turn into a giant mess. The honeymoon stage was over. He and Jack were fighting yet it wasn’t what he was expecting. When he thought of them fighting, he thought things one did to the other, of things Jack wouldn’t do for Bitty or things Bitty wouldn’t do for Jack. He thought of them fighting because they turned bitter in their relationship. Yet Jack always surprised him. They were fighting because of what Bitty was trying to sacrifice. Jack couldn’t understand that he was doing this for him. Bitty was living like this for him, putting his own needs on the back burner because he wasn’t going to be the one to ruin Jack’s career.  _ Damn it. _

It culminated until their snapping turned yelling. Bitty realized what he was doing and apologized. It wasn’t fair for Jack, he needed to think about Jack. But thinking about Jack was what got them there in the first place. He was surprised when Jack apologized to him gently, physically and emotionally tired. They both were.

They said their goodbyes, their  _ I love you’s _ and Bitty hung up. There was a quiet knock at his door and he knew it was Shitty and Lardo. Everyone must have heard him yelling. 

Bitty went to sleep that night feeling just as awful as he had when he left Jack all those messages. 

He woke up just as awful to a series of text messages he almost missed. 

He’s glad he didn’t.

-

Jack’s apartment started out impersonal but with a little patience, and Bitty and Bob’s deft decorating skills, the apartment started looking more like a place where people lived and less like Jack’s personal warehouse that Jack slept in when he wasn’t playing hockey. That being said, Bitty was enjoying the surplus of throw pillows both he and Bob might have gone overboard on. His back resting on one arm of the couch and his legs entangled in pillows and Jack’s legs. Jack rested his back on the opposite side of the couch.

Together they enjoyed the little time they could manage in between school and hockey, fighting playfully over whether they should watch the conspiracy theory marathon on the History Channel or whatever was on Investigation Discovery at the time. 

Despite the comfort and familiarity of the situation Bitty couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. He pulled himself up until he was sitting with his legs tucked under him and a pillow had made its way into his arms. 

Bitty took a deep breath and let it out, “we need to talk.” 

Jack took the control slowly, turning the TV off completely. Jack’s brows creased with worry and Bitty knew not to prolong the silence lest Jack’s anxiety hurled up a storm. 

“I haven’t. Well, maybe I should start with I love you. Because I love you. A lot actually and it would really be great that you knew that before we even start this conversation and I don’t want you to think that I’m breaking up with you or anything because I’m not. I’m not breaking up with and I love you a-”

“Bittle,” Jack interrupted with a small quirk of his eyebrow. Right. On to the point. “I love you too.” 

Just as Jack said it though Bitty said, “I’ve been lying to you.” 

“W-what?” The frown was back on Jack’s face. He leaned forward pushing some of the pillows onto the floor.

Bitty looked down at the floor, his shoulders hunched over. “I’ve been lying to you.”

“Eric?” Jack took his hand in a way Jack probably shouldn’t be after being told that he was being lied to. Bitty took a deep breath and looked up at Jack. 

“My soulmate’s name isn’t Jackson,” Bitty breathed out. “I… I don’t know who my soulmate is.”

“You don’t, have a mark?” Jack asked, “Eric, Bitty you didn’t have to hide that from me. I-”

“No, I do have a mark. It’s just. It’s just  _ utter bullcrap.”  _ Bitty could feel himself losing it. He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. He put the pillow aside and pulled up his shorts. “I can’t  _ read _ it. I don’t. I don’t know what it says.”

Jack pulled one of his hands free as he stared down at Bitty’s thigh. His fingers hesitated until Bitty nodded his head, knowing that if he said anything his voice might break. Jack’s fingers hesitated again as they ghosted over his mark feeling the roughness of the scars the mark had seeped through. 

“What, happened to it?” Jack whispered. Bitty shook his head a little violently. He didn’t want to talk about it. At least not yet, maybe not ever. But it still felt like a million tons were lifted from his shoulders. Jack  _ finally  _ knew. Jack wasn’t recoiling from him because he was  _ mateless _ . Jack-

“I love you. Bitty, I love you.”  _ Jack still loved him.  _

_ “Who’s your soulmate dickhead?” Rob sneered. Eric looked down at his shoes. “Your  _ mom?”

_ “His name is Jackson.”  _

_ “I bet this Jackson guy doesn’t have Dickard’s name on him,” John laughed. He pushed Eric forward making him trip over himself in an attempt to stay standing.  _

_ “I bet he’s mateless!” Carly giggled leaning into Rob’s side. Eric watched them lean even closer. “I bet little baby ewic is  _ lying _ about his soulmark.”  _

-

“You and I, Bitty? We’re a team,” Jack said during a skype call. Bitty burrowed in his covers wishing he could be lying next to Jack. He could here Chowder chirping them through the door as a bid goodnight. “We’re not the one’s putting twenty into the sin bin every weekend!”

“This is why I don't hang out with y’all anymore,” Chowder’s voice was faint, obviously travelling through closed doors. 

“FINE.” It wasn’t Bitty or Jack who yelled it, though. Bitty waited and listened to Chowder stumble around his room in surprise how Dex and Nursey even  _ heard _ him would probably continue to be a mystery for the ages. So Bitty didn’t think too much into it. 

Bitty giggled at the absurdity. Though he did have to admit that while it may be true that they weren't putting into the sin bin every weekend, it wasn't because they restrained themselves from it. Rather that Jack was currently on the other side of the country on a roadie so they couldn't do cutesy stuff in front of the team. 

“We’re a team,” Bitty whispered. A warm feeling coursed through him, dispelling the bitter winter cold that had been nipping at him. He pressed Señor Bun to his chest and watched Jack smile at him. It sent a different kind of shiver down Bitty's spine. “Honey, we’ve been together for two years now. I think. I think my parents should know.”

“Bits. Are you sure?” Jack looked worried and so in love that it hurt Bitty. “Do you want to tell them that we're…?”

“No. that's not fair to them or my parents. I want them to know that I chose  _ you.  _ No matter who comes along I  _ chose you.”   _ Bitty had thought about this. Yelling to the world that he loved Jack Zimmermann wasn’t enough anymore, he wanted the people he cared about the most to know that he loved Jack Zimmermann. Bitty wanted his parents to know who he was despite the pit of fear and unease just thinking about it made him feel, his need for this was bigger than his fear of rejection. 

_ “I chose him.” His aunt Marie told him. By now everyone in the family knew that Eric might not actually have a soulmate. They’ve never seen a mark like his or what a mateless’ mark looks like or if people without soulmates even had a mark. “My Carl.” _

_ “What if you find your soulmate Auntie Marie?” Eric asked. She had gone to pick him up from skating practice. Katya had been merciless on him that whole week as they prepared for the competition that was coming up all the way in New York City that coming weekend. His aunt chuckled a little when he winced as he climbed up into the bed of her truck.  _

_ They had nowhere to be and she picked up some coffee from the little café a little ways away from the rink. His Auntie Marie was his favorite aunt. (For one she was on his mama’s side when it came to the jam discussion.)  _

_ “He’ll have to get used to my Carl being around. Remember that despite what the movies say platonic soulmates do exist,” She said nudging Eric. “You'll find them Dicky. Sometimes a person is The Person and despite the name they were born with they will be your person forever.”  _

_ “But isn't it hard? With Uncle Carl’s soulmate?” _

_ “It was hard at first but Carl chose me. There's something powerful in that Dicky. Charlie is amazing, she's his best friend against all odds and for them that's enough.”  _

_ “You think I can find someone who’ll chose me?”  _

_ “I’m sure of it. You're going to find someone who you will chose, no matter who comes along and no matter what people say.” _

_ - _

Bitty brought his parents, his Moomaw, and his Auntie Marie together so he could introduce Jack to them. It was a quiet afternoon and they made the trip all the way down to Georgia because Bitty didn't want to have that conversation over the phone. 

His auntie Marie kept looking between Bitty and Jack and then looking down at her food with a smile. Bitty had an inkling that if anything went south during the lunch that she would definitely be in his corner. Mateless people had to stick together after all. 

Bitty set down his fork and looked around the table before clearing his throat. 

“I have to tell y'all something important.” Bitty said with a nervous smile. The people he loved the most turned to look at him expectantly as he let the silence stretch. “I, uh, Jack and I… are dating. I'm gay with Jack. I mean, uh.”

“How long?” His auntie Marie asked excitedly. Everyone else stayed quiet. 

“Two years.” Jack piped up. “At Graduation.”

“Well I say it's about time you told us Eric Richard. I don't know what you were waiting for, it was obvious for one that you finally found him.”

“Oh,” Bitty deflated. “We’re not. Uh, we’re not soulmates Moomaw.” 

The silence after was deafening. He watched as they took turns to look at each other. As if they didn’t know what to do. Bitty was,  _ willingly _ in a gay relationship. His heart jump up to his throat. The only thing keeping him from crying was Jack’s hand tightening its grip on his. 

“Are you happy?” Coach asked gruffly. He looked down at his food with a pinched expression. 

“Incredibly. He's it for me Coach.” 

“Well, I don't think I'll be needing to remind him where the gun rack is.” Suzanne pipes up, she didn’t look completely comfortable. Bitty couldn’t say he wasn’t relieved. Despite the weight hanging above them, they were trying. They were  _ really _ trying.

“Mama!” Bitty would try too. 

“I'm just voicing what's on all our minds.” Suzanne said while loading her fork with food. Jack chuckled nervously and Bitty took his hand without thinking about. 

“Told you, you had nothing to worry about Dicky.” His Auntie Marie hummed. She, out of all of them, collected herself almost immediately.

_ It was his papa that took him out to buy his first pair of skates and it his papa that watched him fall during his first time skating. His mama would have been there but there had been an emergency at the hospital and they needed all the EMTs on staff.  _

_ His papa was the one that offered to piggyback him all the way to the truck when he saw Eric wincing at every step. It was his papa that took him for ice cream as they talked about the football game from last night, both of them incredibly excited that their team had won.  _

_ - _

“Bitty?” Jack sounded out of breath. Bitty looked down at the clock on his laptop. He wasn't breathing like that because of a work out. 

“Honey? Jack? Is something wrong?” 

“Bits. Your mark. It's Russian. It's cursive Russian.” Bitty almost dropped his phone with shock. He took in a deep shaky breath. The sudden possibility that he might be able to know what his soulmate's name is made him feel like something heavy settled inside of him. Bitty moved his laptop away from him and pulled away the duvet. His shorts had ridden up to uncover the mark for him, as if it knew somehow that Jack would call with the news. He could hear his heart pounding in his throat as he lets his fingers feather across the chicken scratch on his inner thigh. 

“What?” Bitty whispered. Every little bump from the scars surrounding Bitty’s mark momentarily unimportant, yet still a reminder of those dark moments. Dread settled within him as well as a lightness at the thought that one day he might have to explain the scars to his  _ soulmate  _ like he had his Jack. Bitty didn’t think he was ready for that.

“I. Tater was writing and I caught a glimpse of it and I asked him about it.” Jack said breathlessly. “Tater can read it, he can translate your mark Eric. Do you? Do you  _ want  _ him to? I didn't tell him about it. But if you want. I can. He would do it.” 

It would end so many years of misery because he couldn't understand what his mark said. Bitty would finally be able to know who it was. He'd have a name he could show the world. 

“Eric? Bitty?”

“Yes. Yes. I want to know.” 

_ “Mama?” He walked into the kitchen holding a piece of paper that looked like it had seen better days. “Papa?” _

_ “Yes honey?” Bitty heard the tightness in her voice, as if she were hoping whatever Bitty had to tell them was good. They had just moved into a new house the summer of Bitty’s freshman year. After his Aunt Marie’s recommendation. Hoping that the new town and new school would help lessen the trauma he’d gone through.  _

_ Bitty set the flyer down with shaking hands. It was a flyer for a co-ed hockey tryout.  _

_ “I- I was thinkin’ you’ve already spent so much on my figure skating… and I appreciate it so much! You don’t understand how much I do! And I love it! But… but I was thinkin’ I could maybe… try out for the hockey team?” _

_ “Junior, you know hockey is a contact sport…” _

_ “Yes! I mean, it is. But this team is a no … uhm what  do they call it? Checking?” Bitty rolled his eyes a little. “No tackling policy.” _

_ His parents looked at each other with a knowing look. Bitty just wanted to fit in a little more.  _

_ “Well…” Bitty’s mom started.  _

_ “Guess we’re gonna have to go find you some hockey skates, right Junior?” Coach finished. Bitty, for lack of a better word, tackled the closest parent with a shaky laugh. _

-

Ultimately they decided that it was best to do it in person. Bitty waited almost shaking with excitement and fear and just about every feeling he’s felt about his soulmate’s name stewed at the pit of his stomach. Jack sat next to him constantly checking his phone waiting for Tater to text him that he'd arrived. 

“He's here.” Jack jumped out of his seat to let Tater up and unlock his door. It takes Tater another five minutes to make it to Jack’s door. The moment he walked through that door Tater made to pick Bitty up into a hug. Bitty gladly let him, having been previously warned of Tater’s grand salutes. 

“You are Zimmboni’s boyfriend. I'm thinking you are girl first. Am sorry I assume, is ok?” Tater looked down with a large smile and Bitty's first thought was  _ I wouldn’t mind if he was my soulmate.  _

“It's ok, darling. It's what we were going for,” Bitty placated. There was something to the way Alexei carefully sat down next to Bitty waiting for him to be ready. He’s never shown his mark to anyone but Jack.  Bitty’s embarrassment concerning his mark left everyone else thinking he didn’t even have one. His own family knew about it, well because everyone’s a baby at one point. 

Bitty hesitated. It felt wrong for someone else to know what the stain on his skin meant before he did. But when Tater looked at him patiently, all Bitty could think about was how he couldn’t have wished for anyone else to do it. 

So Eric Bittle pulled his shorts up to reveal the source of all his insecurities. So Eric Bittle’s eyes widen when he was swept up into strong arms once more and he was swung around. Tater crowed in delight. 

The thing was, people didn’t lie about  _ who  _ their soulmate was. It’s physically impossible to do so. It  _ hurt  _ to pretend that a soulmate didn’t exist once you’ve met them, once you’ve acknowledged each other’s existence. 

Alexei Mashkov made it immediately clear. “Is me.” 

“What?” It was a whisper. A silent plea that Tater was lying. He couldn’t be.  _ Look at him.  _ He couldn’t be. 

Bitty was let go in favor of Tater pulling up his shirt. Right there inscribed into Tater’s hip bone was his name, in an ugly scrawl Bitty recognized from his endless lecture notes. 

_ “Mama, do you think my soulmate is really out there?” Bitty whispered into his mother’s embrace. She pulled him tighter until there wasn’t anymore to tighten.  _

_ “Of course I do, sweetie,” She soothed. “And I bet they’re looking for you just as hard as you’re looking for them.” _

It’s him. All these years of wondering, of never knowing or wanting to know and finally,  _ accidentally,  _ he was found. Something deep settled in Bitty’s stomach, it was warm and pleasant and. And  _ happy.  _

“It’s you,” And he turned to Jack. “Honey, honey?”

Jack wasn’t there. 

When he turned to look at Tater…  _ Alexei. His Alexei,  _ he shrugged. 

“I am not seeing Zimmboni leave.”

Bitty felt that warm feeling go away as he checked the kitchen and the bathroom and the guest room and Jack’s,  _ their  _ room. He found himself panicking even more because he wanted Tater to never leave, he wanted to learn everything there was to learn about him but he didn’t want to do it if Jack wasn’t there with him and  _ he couldn’t find Jack.  _

Until he opened the balcony door and saw Jack staring into the distance. This was the moment Bitty knew he would share with Jack eventually. He knew this was a talk they would  never escape even if by some miracle Jack continued to choose him forever. Not once did he think, that Jack would be the one that needed to hear those words uttered at him. Then again, that was Bitty’s mistake wasn’t it? He’d grown self-centered in his time at Samwell. Always thinking about what this would do to him, never thinking Jack would have similar insecurities. It seemed like such a fairytale ending for Bitty to meet his soulmate, that it never occurred to him that to Jack Bitty had just as much of a chance of meeting his soulmate and leaving him as Jack had had his chance of meeting Kent. 

“Honey?” Bitty placed his hand on Jack’s forearm. He watched Jack startle out of whatever he was thinking about. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Asking if Jack was ok was futile, Bitty knew that. 

“It’s nothing really, just wanted to give you two privacy…”

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann,” Bitty applied pressure to his grip on Jack’s forearm, not enough to hurt but hopefully enough to let him know that Bitty saw right through him. They may not be soulmates but Bitty was 110% sure that they were destined. This was it, Alexei or no Alexei. They were it. Of course, if that's what Jack wanted. 

“You found him. I know how much it's affected your life. You found him, I knew you would. But. But I thought I had a little more time. Bitty, I thought…” 

“Honey,  _ Jack…”  _ Bitty breathed. Bitty couldn't find the words that would make Jack believe him, so he did the next best thing and let go of Jack arm only to take hold of his shirt. He pulled Jack down until he could comfortably reach up. He doesn't go all the way, he let Jack choose whether or not to close the distance. 

It was intoxicating. Jack's chapped lips on his, their warm breath mingling despite the weather. The body heat passing between them, Bitty didn't want anyone else’s hands on his waist or anyone else's shirt in his fist. He wanted Jack,  _ his Jack,  _ as long as he would have Bitty. But it was a little too soon for marriage proposals, Lardo warned him so. 

Once he couldn't justify his lack of breath anymore Bitty pulled away. “This isn't goodbye. Jack, he might be my soulmate. But I love  _ you. You're  _ the one I want. Unless, unless you  _ don-” _

_ “ _ Eric.” Jack lowered his head until they were touching foreheads. “I love you too.”

“Good. That's settles it. Ain't no one leaving no one tonight.”

“How did Holster put it?” Jack pulled away with a glint in his eyes. 

“Baby, we’re ride or die,” Bitty laughed. “Let's go back inside, I'm sure Alexei is getting antsy.”

“How are. I mean, what if?”

“If he's my soulmate, darling, Alexei will just have to get used to you.” 

“We’re a team?” Jack said jokingly. But when Bitty turned he could see the seriousness behind the joke. 

“We’re a team,” Bitty giggled but then, he paused. “And don't ever let Adam Birkholtz know we quoted him trying to be romantic. We will  _ never  _ live it down.” 

_ “Mama?” _

_ “Yes Dicky?” _

_ “Everything is going to be ok right?” _

_ “Of course honey, and don't you ever doubt it.” _


End file.
